Breakfast
by Paige242
Summary: The morning after Jamie's death, Nathan tries to give his father another chance.


I wasn't quite as bad as IKEA, but it was pretty damn close.

Apparently, his dad is still a cheap bastard- despite the fancy new flat in a posh part of town, he wasn't willing to spend more than £1.50 on breakfast. And that's why they were sitting in a restaurant that smelled like old piss picking at runny piles of scrambled eggs.

When he had asked his dad to buy him breakfast, Nathan had hoped that the man would choose somewhere a little bit nicer...especially today. He didn't exactly feel like sitting in a filthy hell hole after what had happened last night. After what had happened to Jamie. He'd already been in hell long enough that week, thank you very much.

But, he supposed, it could have been worse. At least they were on speaking terms again- and Nathan knew that he owed it to his brother to give the man a chance. His dad was still a massive git, but this was what Jamie had wanted.

Maybe he was being irrational (after all, he had only known his little brother for less than forty eight hours), but the bond he had felt with his newly discovered brother was unlike anything he had experienced before. He had spent his whole like feeling like an outcast- and for a few days, Nathan thought he had found someone like him. Someone who could understand.

Even though Jamie was gone now, he still felt a fierce and inexplicable sense of duty to his lost brother.

And that's why he was here now, sitting in London's shittiest restaurant with a man he had always despised.

He had to try.

For Jamie.

"How much longer 'ave you got left on your community service?"

Nathan knew his dad didn't really care- he wasn't sure if he had ever really cared what his delinquent son was doing.

Most days, he would have come up with some sort of cocky reply...but today was different. He was exhausted- physically and emotionally drained- and he knew that his dad was in pretty much the same state.

So, for once in his life, Nathan Young gave a straight answer.

"A few weeks." He answered, shrugging as he tapped his right hand on the sticky table.

The man nodded, his red-rimmed eyes locked resolutely on his soggy eggs.

"And what are you gonna do after that? Your mum says you have a flat with some of your mates. You got a job?"

"No job." Nathan replied, trying to hide the hint of anxiety in his voice. He refused to seem weak or needy. "No flat either."

His dad looked up, making eye contact for the first time since they had arrived. He certainly had his attention now...but, as always, it was for all of the wrong reasons.

"No flat? But then..."

"Been living in the community centre since mom kicked me out." He cut in, knowing exactly what his dad was about to ask. "Haven't been caught yet. I reckon I'll stay there till they kick me out too."

There was a long pause.

After giving another nonchalant shrug, Nathan shovelled several forkfuls of tasteless eggs into his mouth, doing his best to ignore his father's scrutinizing gaze.

"You lied to your mum."

"You're surprised?"

The older man gave a soft sigh.

"Honestly? No."

Nathan smirked. "I learned from the best." He replied, making no attempt to hide his bitterness.

He didn't want to fight. Really, he didn't. Jamie had wanted them to get along. But some issues simply went too deep.

Sometimes, he just couldn't help himself.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've been lyin' to mum my whole life. I'm just following in your pathetic footsteps." He began, leaning back in his chair and running a hand through his unruly brown hair. "Like father like son, right?"

"Nathan..."

"You told her that you'd always be there for her, and then you went and disappeared for five years. Five fecking years! I'm guessing that's when Jamie came along, wasn't it?"

His father said nothing, but Nathan was secretly pleased to see him flinch at the sound of his younger son's name.

"And then just when things were settling down- just when she had finally started smilin' again- you show up and tell her that you'll give her the world if she comes back to London with you. And, unfortunately, she was dumb enough to fall for that one."

"Nathan, enough."

He could tell that his father didn't have the energy to really tell him off this time, and there was little conviction in his tone. Usually he would have started yelling by now- told him that he was an ungrateful sod who deserved to be put out on the street- but today, he simply sat there. There was sadness in his father's eyes, and if things were different, Nathan almost would have felt sorry for him.

Almost.

"I never wanted to come here, you know." Nathan started, his eyes locked on the cracked mirror that adorned the restaurants wall. "But no one never asked me what I wanted, did they? She thought you loved her again, so she packed us up and brought us here."

He paused for a moment, his mind flashing back to those hectic few weeks before they had left Wexford. He had protested at first but, after realizing that his mother was happier than she had been in a very, very, long time, he had decided to go along with it.

Nathan had thought that she deserved to be happy again.

But he had quickly come to regret his complacency.

"Do you have any idea how fucking hard it was to show up at a new school, in another country, half way through the year?" He asked, his voice quieter than before. "I admit, it wasn't like things had been perfect back home either- what with Granny insisting that I go to the Catholic school...which, frankly, was not the best place to be when you're the bastard child of an absentee Englishman. But it was so much worse here." Nathan ran his hand through his hair again before chancing a quick glance at his father.

The man was starring down at his plate and it was impossible to tell from his stony expression if he was even listening anymore.

Nathan didn't really care. It felt good to get it out, even if the man didn't want to hear it.

He was going now, and he couldn't stop.

"I was used to having the shit kicked out of me and all, but the blokes here make the Irish lads look like harmless kittens. If you had actually stayed with us, and not buggered off again after a month and half, you would have seen some of the shit they did to me. Even got stabbed once...just in the arm...but still!" His hand moved to the small scar that still marred his left forearm.

He was lucky at it hadn't been worse, really.

Nathan had been scared for his life that day, and if the maths teacher hadn't come round the corner when she did, he wasn't sure how far it would have gone. Hugh Johnson had been expelled after that- which was what the wanker had deserved- but his cronies had remained, and they were determined to make his life a living hell.

He wasn't from around there- hadn't grown up in the same shitty and incestuous neighbourhood that they had- and (by their primitive logic) that meant they had a duty to take the piss out of him every chance they got.

Taig, cunt, Irish bastard, tosser...he'd been called it all on a daily basis. It was miracle he had made it out of that school alive and (relatively) sane. Humour had been his only chance for survival and, thankfully, he had been smart enough to figure that out pretty early on. If you laughed it off, and came up with enough sarcastic responses to confuse the shit out of them, you had a chance of making it through.

Unfortunately, that habit had stuck with him. It was almost instinctual now.

"I suppose if I had been really smart, I'd have figured out how to fake an English accent before I got here- but then again, I didn't really fancy sounding like the bastard who abandoned my mother. Twice. I can't believe she ever thought you loved her..."

Nathan opened his mouth to continue but, this time, his father cut him off before he could.

Apparently, he had been listening after all.

"Nathan, that's enough."

"What, did I finally touch a nerve?"

There was a short pause before his father let out a small sigh and looked up to meet his son's eyes.

"I did love her." He said, his tone surprisingly soft. "Still do. If you believe nothing else, believe that."

There was something about pleading look in his eyes and the conviction in his voice that made Nathan want to accept his words- and for a moment he almost did. But as he thought about all that had happened, the years of raised hopes and dashed dreams, he knew that he couldn't.

Not yet, anyway.

"Is that why you decided to fuck your way across Ireland then?" Nathan shot back, his blue eyes narrowed. "How many more secret love children have you got out there- huh dad? At least one in every county, I imagine. Better get a good security system before the next one decides to come over and beat you with a toaster."

Hurt flashed across his father's face, but Nathan refused to soften his gaze.

Sure, it had been a shit night, and Jamie was gone...but it wasn't like his dad had ever cared about either of them anyway. He had never been there, and had shown no interest in his younger son until he learned of his untimely death. And even then, Nathan could not help but suspect that his tears came from obligation rather than genuine sadness.

As a father, he was obliged to cry. As a person, he couldn't have cared less about some random Irish kid who had shown up on his doorstep.

He had only ever cared about himself and Nathan suspected that that would never change.

"There was only Jamie." His father whispered, looking back down at the table. "Just Jamie."

Nathan scoffed.

"Sure."

After a short pause, the young man stood up from his spot, trying to ignore the disgusting squishing sound his foot made as it pressed on the filthy floor.

"Look, as _lovely_ as this little breakfast chat has been," he began sarcastically, "I should be going- have to check in at the community centre, what with me being a well-raised juvenile delinquent and all. I guess I'll see you the next time I decide to steal some pick and mix."

He waited for his father to respond, but when the man didn't even bother to look up Nathan turned and made his way towards the door.

If he had waited just a moment longer, then maybe he would have hesitated.

Maybe he would have seen the fresh wave of tears welling in his father's tired eyes.

And maybe he would have given him one more chance.

But, as it was, Nathan looked stubbornly ahead and walked out into the refreshing morning air.

He refused to believe the man who had ruined his life. He refused to feel pity for the man who had abandoned everyone he had ever cared about.

He refused to feel anything.

So instead, he plastered his trademark smirk on his face and walked towards the first and only place that he had ever really fit in.

He hoped Jamie would forgive him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A/N Thoughts? I really liked the episode with Jamie, and am interested in Nathan's back story- especially his relationship with his father. Let me know if you liked it!


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